Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Sabbatical Day 1

Its important in life to get some time off from work and some companies like the one i work with provides a great way to facilitate it. We call it sabbatical and it comes after every 5 year spent with the company. Although i took it after 7 years because of my lazy attitude when it comes about my personal life. Good thing is that even after 7 years, at least i took it and today was my first day of the 4 week long sabbatical.
From last couple of days i was thinking of planning a regular small week offs at least for one week. This can not only provides some time to rethink about my career but most importantly it will give me time to think about my personal life. YES, YOU NEED TO PLAN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE AS WELL.
So, what all i expect from this sabbatical is, by the end at least i should be able to decide on what all i want to do till i avail my next sabbatical.


I slept the whole day today because of late night movie yesterday with friends. Yes, Kai Poche is one time watch movie with storyline picked from Chetan's "The 3 Mistakes of My Life". Although as usual, i would prefer reading that book again than watching this movie next time.

I have nothing to do except some emails i wanted to reply on "as usual" and yes, its very difficult to get away from something which you are doing it from last 10 years.

I still need to finish my plan for my tour to south India. I want to give the whole time to myself living in peace for next one month. Hope it would start from day number 2.

One more thing i would love to do is if i can change my regular day-to-day activities more disciplined. Some forced punctuality in my daily routine and obviously some more time for myself.

I think this is all for day 1. Hope i could have some exciting day 2.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Lazy but Crazy

These days i started feeling that i have lots of time, lots of energy to do lots of stuff which can invaribly differ from my daily work. It can be a trip to some nice place like, Leh, Sikkim, Kerela, Goa, etc. Or can be an involvement of me in some sort of social service, like teaching kids, etc, Or, can be anything that bring the craziness out of me...
These days whenever i talk to my collegue/friends or seniors(especially who are married), i usually find the sentence "when are you getting married?" or similar, in between the talk. I don't know, may be few of my married friends would like to comment here, but, Is the marriage, which is the only important thing left in my life to do or do i have something more to work out?
Thanks to god, I still have unmarried friends left. But some of them looks like they achieved a level of saturation and they are waiting for the event to occur in their life. Afetr that they will become super active kind of person to live a successful married life. Or like mentally preparing and planning to establish the "ghar grihasthi". It reminds me with the situation like army zawaans at border waiting for the war to begin.
Now, this brings us, few questions, like am i lazy enough, not to proceed for any of my crazy ideas. Am i also one of the person discussed above. Do i need a company to start a trip or to start for social service. Do, i lack confidence in doing these things? I am not sure any of these question can really help me. One thing i surely know that its around 3:00 AM monday morning and its time to go sleep to reach office on time.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Weird thoughts

Sometimes when i give time to myself, many weird thoughts comes into my mind. Like, Why i am here in this world. What will happen to this world if i won't we here. Am i here just to increase the count or for the survival of certain species called as human beings. Or is there any other purpose for me.
It maybe a situation like when we play a game called "the age of empires" where every villager has a life, a role, an objective. The villager may also think like he is an independent creatures. He manages himself. Nobody is on top of him. He can do whatever he wants. but actually it me who is deciding his life, his role, his objective etc. Its me who has defined the rules for him. Same is the case for us. May be somebody else has defined rules for us and he is actually managing us or playing with us and there is no way, where we can figure out who he is? Because if this is not true i.e we are all independent with whatever we think, we are free to do. Then why not somebody lives forever. Why people have to die after certain age. Why we can't decide our birth and death. Why a person with 2 hands 2 legs etc are called normal. Why a person born with just 1 hand are called handicapped. Maybe he is just a part of another specie which do not fits in our role but fits best in some other role. One reason could be, because majority of people here are with 2 hands and 2 legs. But what about the existence of similar species (with just 1 hand) at some other part of the universe, which we do not know. Aren't we selfish enough by forcing that person to obey our rules, where we fits the best. One good reason could be, since he came from our body so he has to follow our rule. Perfect!!! So, what about plants, where we experimented it to that level that it can give flowers of color decided by us. Or it can give fruit whose shapes are decided by us. Even for birds like cock/hen living in poultry farms.
We all learn from example like if our ancestors are dead that means we will also die in future. But what about things which we don't know or where we do not have any control. i.e we can't guarantee. like deciding the sex of the baby. We can figure it out but we can't decide it beforehand. So, there may be someone else who is actually deciding it. We may call it as God/all mighty etc either because we don't have any way to know about him. Just like a villager has no way of knowing us, they may be calling us god.
I think its time to sleep now...Today i stress tested my mind or may be someone else wants me to write all these...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Side Effects

This is what i feel as the side effect of quitting drinking.

You simply try to ignore parties which is specially for drinking. Good example could be a beer party at roadside theka, where you won't get anything else (cold drinks etc).
In some party (unofficial ones), if majority of people are drinking, you will feel like you are the care taker of those guys/girls who will get extremely drunk. Also, you can't involve yourself in the discussion (which usually happens after 2 or 3 pegs) , because people may get you wrong at that time as you should have to be in complete sense. So, you will get a feeling as you are not allowed to talk non-sense at that time.
There may be some time even in the official party, people get surprised when you say you don't drink beer also. Just like wine and beer are symbols of so called MAN. You will get excuse if you are female or married person(people may think in their mind at that time "darpok saala biwi ke dar se peena chod diya").

Good news is, all these feelings are mostly related with parties in bigger cities like NCR.

Why i am saying this specially for quitters because you mostly have those friends with whom you had enjoyed parties like this. Those who never drink are either habituated with these situations or could have mostly non-drinkers in their friend circle.

Anyways for me, i am not going to change my mind, because i am not mentally so week to get affected by any such side effects.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Simply can't ignore....

Whenever i hear statements like, "we are girls we have to follow the culture", few things just pops up in my mind, What do you think, a boy live without boundaries. or its easy for a guy to break all rules. Or may be there isn't any rule for boys.

Most of the time we see girls usually follows things like visit temples, do fasting, eat veg only, do not eat vegetable which are roots (like potato, radish, onion, garlic etc) because, its in their religion.
At least half of them don't know why they do that. Mostly they do that because their parents told her to do (At least they say like that). I don't know why they feel ashamed in saying i want this not because my parents told me but because i believe its correct or i have faith in this system/religion etc.

These days, at least in metro cities, girls feel proud of saying they can smoke or drink. At least I can't buy this, because i know the repercussions.

Girls usually want to hide that she know cooking food. I don't know why feeling ashamed in showing a quality if you have. Also, i can't buy the reason that, guy think these are just homely girls only suitable for marriages and not for girlfriends.
Funny side is : At least half of the orkut profile contain cuisines as anything cooked by mom, ghar ka khaana etc. So, what the next generation will write, anything cooked by maid/cook or rajma chawal of roadside dhaba, etc.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

UnSurprised Reactions...

Most of the time we don't know how to react on any situation. Sometimes we know but still we do mistakes...Strange thing is that sometimes we don't even react (just stay flat) when it was required most. This leads to confusion. And when you get your senses back, you have already lost the moment.

There are many but, i can remember only one this time. The incident was like one of my team mate told me that she has resigned and will be leaving the company in few days (she worked with me for nearly 2 years).
And my reaction was plane and simple "ok" with little silence. I didn't even asked formal questions like where? why? etc. After exchange of one or two immaterial statements, the discussion ended.

After some time (when i got my senses :-)) i realized, my reaction might let her in some confusion, like
1> I already knew that she has resigned.
2> I was certain that she will not stay here for long.
3> I hardly care, whether she stay here or not.

Question : Why the reaction was NIL?
Answer : God Knows. Maybe because i moved lots of situations into the list of unsurprised reaction or maybe because out of 3 any of the above statement is right.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Umbrella of life

  • Sometimes i feel we live under a big coloured umbrella revolving around its axis.
  • The sun rays falls on that umbrella and we all get shades of the different colours based on our positions.
  • Its not possible to be at two positions simultaneously (one cannot be happy and sad at the same time) .
  • Also, its not possible to stay at the same position indefinitely (one cannot be sad for the whole life) . People who are getting the same colour at any time are linked with some virtual thread (like X number of people enjoying any event).
  • Unfortunately, there are few holes in the umbrella, so there may be a chance that somebody is getting light directly. In this case he/she do not feel anything. so we call it as wastage in life (Beware...This can make your life meaningless).
  • Human beings are so dynamic that they try to move inside the umbrella to receive the shades which is not expected linearly (i.e to catch up good moments). To get this, you should be knowing which color can make you happy and trying to follow that color.
  • While moving inside the umbrella we create a path which is called "Path of life".
  • It is possible that one can cross the line by revisiting a point inside the umbrella. This is called "Point of refund". You already paid the price for this point so you deserve to get your things back which you might left in the past. (for example, you proposed somebody and he/she refused you then somebody else proposes you later in your life. Here you can react based on your past experience). One thing i like to point out here that you cannot get the same feeling again because the umbrella is also moving so the color can be different during revisit.
  • The more you move away from vertex of umbrella, the more frequent you feel change in your life, because the traversal is more.
  • Only god can bend this umbrella towards any side with any angle.
  • This is the umbrella of "life". Unborn and dead have no place under this.

Monday, January 14, 2008


Melodious tone waves in the air,

Peace flew in aromatic atmosphere.

To hide myself from this cruel world,

Holding her tightly, as much as I can.

When face touched by hand to tap,

I loosen my body, lying in the lap.

Feel of warmth shivers as a whole,

I become frozen from body to soul.

Eyelids met, with a deep breathe,

Darkness increased, to see the dream.

The song was on, but the tone was low,

Beat of hand becomes slow and slow.

Here opened, the door of imagination,

Enter the fairyland with blissful sensation.

Smile on lips with a whirl on the face,

Eyes still closed, lots more to envisage.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Feel of shivering will remove the pain.

Crucified like a murderer of her dreams.
I put my neck, punish me if i am wrong.
Just one word, saved my life that day.
Its was "Trust", and it went my way.

Raised my eyes, to feel the distress.
Once again questioned, who is guilty?
Still I tried to convey her graciously,
You should be happy, not being with me.

She blinked her eyes to hide the drops.
Heart ordered to hold her, but hand stops.
I knew the limit, so just shared few words.
Glory of kinking smile spread on her lips.

We can enjoy life for many good reasons.
So, how anybody cry in stunning season.
Just close your eyes and smell the rain.
Feel of shivering will remove the pain.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

dil dosti etc - two guys having entirely different views of life.

Day before yesterday, i saw a movie "Dil dosti etc". I do not want to go into the detail of this movie very much. Also, i am not here as a critic that whether i liked this movie or not. The goal of this blog entry is two discuss about two characters (entirely different characters) described in the movie.
1> Sanjay Mishra : This is the first character of this movie. A guy of middle class thinking, who want to win university election by any means.
a> This guy did all what he can do to win the election. On the other side, he didn't allowed his girlfriend to seduce him.
b> He threatened his girlfriend for wearing swim suit.
c> Not able to face the truth that his girlfriend become the third girl (according to the challenge) of his friend.
According to my analysis, these points clearly indicate the mind set of a person who thinks to do anything for profession but have few restrictions in his personal life.

2> Apoorv : This is the second character of this film. A guy who hardly cares about his life, his career or may be about what will happen tomorrow. He always live in present, do whatever comes in his way.
a> Fear of being ragged as fresher in college, but do not hesitate to go to brothels.
b> Very much serious about his challenge of having sex with three girls in a day, but hardly thought of sanjay's emotional feeling when he was in bed with sanjay's girlfriend.
c> He is aimless, but he thinks differently.

In our society we find both type of people. May be the film has exaggerated these characters, otherwise i cannot find any of them as right. Reasons are,

1> If apoorv is right, that means we don't need a girl except for sex. This may hinder the reason of marriage, which is to provide a secure environment for the perpetuation of the species, a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights, and the protection of bloodlines.

2> If sanjay is right, he shouldn't be dead.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Weird observations

Observation 1 :
In India, when we go to find a groom, we assume
1> Groom should be older than Bride.
2> Groom should be working in some better company than bride (or earning better salary).
3> Groom should have greater in height (and built) then bride.
4> and many more...

and after few years of marriage we say "The guy is not treating his wife, as they are equal".
Question : which angle they are equal?

Answer : There's not point in finding whether they are equal or not. Its better if we think "Together they can make their life complete, which they cannot do it alone." So, find a pair instead of equality.

Observation 2 :
India is growing so fast because not only men but women are also taking part in its development actively. Today the reach of woman is great everywhere. This has created one issue which i like to bring in.

Why woman want to supersede man? if this happen then it will again create the same problem (with side replaced) that we still have in some part of our society, where women are not treated equally.

Point of discussion is : Can't it be better if we decide to treat everyone equally than fighting for our own superiority?

Answer : Lets make it healthy competition than immature campaign.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Living happily

Happy living is an art. Not everyone live happily even if he/she has achieved whatever and whenever he/she wanted. for example, if a guy saw a girl and think if she would become his friend. As soon as that girl become his friend, he set up another target about her.These things make us happy or even happier for few moments/days, but not the happiest one.

Lets elaborate few points :
1> Happiness last lesser if we continue finding opportunity and forget to enjoy things that we already have. Its not bad to look for new friends but it should not be at the cost of existing ones.

2> Whenever we feel alone, think of any lonely person around you, go and meet him/her.

3> Care for people who respect you or love you.

4> Generate new and practical ideas : Even if we have enough money for a costly dinner or for a good movie , our weekends goes in boredom. The reason is neither you nor the other person can create a better plan for the weekend to enjoy. So, its better to generate new and practical ideas to spend your time with happiness.

5> Clear objective : One of my friend feel happiness in educating street children. So, he only need a place and few children. No money. No friend. No relatives.
So, we should be clear about what is going to make us happy? Once we find it, keep doing more and more.

6> Learn to enjoy everything : There is nothing called "have to do" in life (except, breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping). But we still mark some of our task or activity as "have to do". So, those task can be enjoyed if we learn to enjoy everything (or if we have "enjoy everything" attitude).

Sunday, June 03, 2007

When silence becomes the only way to speak

Auspicious is the word of desire,
Thou love barely heed about fortune.
When heart ponder magical illusions,
Silence becomes the only way to speak,

Glory on pinnacle and shine everywhere
With a feel of dancing in the first rain,
Droplets spreading on the innocent lips
No wonder, devoting life for a blissful kiss.

Hand started caressing from body to soul,
Swiftness of breathe become more and more,
Tears of joy sparkle in the pretty eyes,
Aromatic atmosphere in the beautiful sky

That instant devoting thyself as a whole,
Holding each other as two body one soul,
Let the love grow and become fluorescent,
Oh lord, take my life for any such moment.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Its not about fear, its about control.

Sometimes its not fear but the control that we have in life which decide our action.

If i ask you to jump from the roof of Adobe's building, its not just fear that will stop you. There are some people who really love your life more than you and you really care about that. This could be a better reason.

Its better to live for others then die for oneself.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Now i got the answer.

Now I got the answer of following questions which are related with my life,

1> Why my father wake me up at 3:00 AM in the morning, during my primary school exams?

2> Why i was punished that day because of late coming at school, evenif it was the fault of bus driver not mine?

3> Why i was suppose to study biology, when i didn't want to be a doctor?

4> Why the bus conductor gave me money to take reserved auto, when i was waiting for a bus and all buses went on sudden strike?

5> Why my father didn't allowed me for a costly computer course, just because it was offering me a job guarantee after complition of the course?

6> Why my parents didn't slapped me, when i came home totally drunk first time?

7> Why the interviewer didn't recruited me just because i was the topper of my college?

Today also, I have lots of questions in my mind , and i am sure i will get the answer by my own in future. This is life.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Philosophy # 3

* People spend half of their life finding an ideal match and the other half making that match ideal.
* You can only sharp your axe, you cannot change the metal.
* You cannot be young by yourself but you can be immature anytime.
* Sometimes, a small meeting will affects you more than spending years with someone. Better try to make every meeting memorable, in both sense.
* If a person is smiling that doesn't means he is happy.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Stay Emotional

There are lots of definitions about emotions, but for me,

1> If i try to sync up my feeling with the feeling of others, i am emotional.
2> If i feel i should not do anything, even if i can do, i am emotional.
3> Even if i share happiness of others, i am emotional.
4> Emotions are related with heart, once it stops you are dead.
5> if you do not have emotions, you are harmful, because
  • You can play with emotions of others.
  • Your life become easy, maybe at the cost of others life.
So, please die for the sake of others, if you are not emotional.

Some people say they are not emotional : They live in fear of not being emotionally blackmailed.
Some people say they are very emotional : They want to prove there exist a wet corner in his dead heart.

Advice for :
Emotional people : They should be strong enough to afford emotions.
Less emotional people : You are safe, stay as it is.
Not emotional people : There isn't any single person i met who are not emotional.

Sunday, March 18, 2007


People tried, i quit smoking,
they are still happier,
i am the happiest.

People think she is happy,
i found a drop of tear in her eye,
i am the luckiest.

People say love is unconditional,
i created expectation from someone,
i am the saddest.

People think they are mature,
i am honest from the core,
i am the purest.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Philosophy # 2

I always try to create a balance between Personal life and Professional life.


People in professional life cannot blackmail me emotionally for their professional outcome.


Every colleague in my company assumes i am too strict to my (or the colleague's) life, and they cannot find any space in it. So, there isn’t any scope for me to have some personal relation with my colleague. The worst part is, people who are less professional will start making benefit of it.

Philosophy # 1

There are few things in life for which one should wait.
  1. To pick up the child fallen in your way.
  2. Roll call: Especially when caller starts alphabetically from A and your name is “vinod”.
  3. Opportunity to prove himself/herself.
  4. Aged enough for marriage: (18 for female and 21 for male)
  5. To see the face of his/her newborn baby. (9 month in ideal case).

For rest of the thing, one can be impatient like me.